


It's The Goddamn Fight of My Life and You Started It

by ArtieSafari



Category: Diary of a Future President (TV)
Genre: Bobby Has (Undiagnosed) Anxiety, Coming Out, High School, High School-Typical Homophobia, Insecurities, M/M, New Friends? New Enemies? Maybe Both?, Pining, Tennis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtieSafari/pseuds/ArtieSafari
Summary: Bobby Cañero-Reed is a freshman at Orange Bay High. And although there's a lot he doesn't know, there's three things he does:1) He needs to be tennis captain when he's a senior.2) Liam is even more attractive than last year, and he still doesn't know how to process that.3) Nothing is chill. But he can't let anyone see him break.
Relationships: Bobby Cañero-Reed & Liam Carter, Bobby Cañero-Reed/Liam Carter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	It's The Goddamn Fight of My Life and You Started It

**Author's Note:**

> Of course the title is from a Taylor Swift song. I swear, the Venn Diagram of "swifties" and "fanfic writers" is a circle. And honestly, I'm here for it.
> 
> Most depictions of anxiety are based off my own experiences with anxiety, so... yeah.
> 
> Enjoy!

Whoever decided math class should be first thing in the morning was a monster.

It was only the first day. The first day of the new school year, the first day of high school, the first day of classes, and Bobby was already tired. Even though they almost definitely wouldn't be doing any actual math, something worse loomed over him, following him from his mom's car and through the hallways decorated in too much orange:

Awkward ice breakers.

Every teacher since middle school decided they were a good idea, a way for the class to get to know each other and for the teacher to get some idea of who they all were. But for Bobby, they were an exercise in cruelty. Even when he prepared his answer in advance, practiced it in his head over and over, it always came out wrong. A little too strained, too curt, too detached. He wanted to be as sociable as his sister or as Liam, but it just wasn't in him. Any time he spoke, the words lingered in his mind as he took the red pen to each and every syllable. Sometimes it wasn't immediate. Sometimes it would wait, sneak up on him when he was laying in bed trying to sleep, or when he was minding his own business playing video games. And then it would sit there in his head, laughing at him. He was perpetually haunted by ghosts of his faux pas and fuck ups.

So he preferred to speak as little as possible. At least, to people who weren't already his friends. If he kept his mouth shut and picked his words carefully, there'd be less in the graveyard of memories he wished would stay dead.

Bobby walked into the math classroom, thankful most people weren't in yet. It would give him more choices in terms of seats, assuming they wouldn't be assigned anyway, and let him be alone, listening to music before everything went downhill. The room was covered in both math posters with concepts he hadn't learned yet, and generic motivational posters. The "hang in there!" type that always seemed to be mocking him. Like it was easy. Like it was so easy to just...

He let out a breath and shook his head. He didn't need this. Not right now, not right before his first day. He could shove it down and deal with it later. Or never. Or whenever. It was chill.

Making his way to the back of the class, he hung his backpack on the back of his chair. Corner seats were the best, especially ones next to windows. This classroom had no seats next to windows, unfortunately, but the back corner was still nice. Walls on either side of him kept him from feeling trapped amongst crowds of people, kept something solid and stable at his back. 

Almost immediately after sitting down, before he even had a chance to pull out his phone, someone else walked into the classroom. He was tall, skinny, and bleach blonde. His white and pastel pink sweatshirt was oversized, hanging over his dark skinny jeans and black boots. He walked with a confidence Bobby could only dream about. And that confidence brought him to the seat right next to Bobby. 

"Chase," he said, holding out his hand.

"Uh, Bobby." They shook hands before Chase let out a laugh.

"I'm sorry, I'm not good at this whole 'making friends' thing. My therapist told me to just walk up to someone who looked nice and start talking, but I'm not good at conversation."

"It's chill," Bobby said with a smile. He almost instantly felt comfortable with him. "I'm not great with talking either."

"It's funny. People think us drama kids are all outgoing but honestly, it's only easy to talk on stage because I don't have to look anyone in the eye. And everything I have to say is in a script." They both laughed together. He wasn't surprised at all that he was a drama kid. It was written all over him. "I'm gonna take a guess you're not the acting type?"

"Tennis."

"Hm, you don't really strike me as a jock."

"Eh, I don't know if I'd call myself that."

"For the best," he said. 

"Gay." The voice came in a cough from someone Bobby _would_ call a "jock." The football type, star quarterback, cheerleader's-boyfriend-in-90s-movie. Bobby's chest clenched up, his gut twisting and his throat closing up. 

"Why, you interested?" Chase rebutted, blowing a sarcastic kiss at the jock. He said nothing, taking a seat far away from the two of them.

"Does that... does that bother you?" Bobby asked in a whisper, almost immediately regretting it.

"What, jerks being homophobic assholes?" The drama boy also lowered his voice, obviously sensing Bobby's nervousness. "Look, I'm not exactly someone who can pass for straight. I've gotten called gay since before I even knew what that meant. It's 2020. If someone has a problem with me, that's their business. If they try to make it my business, I'm not gonna give them the satisfaction of letting them get under my skin." He hadn't wanted to make assumptions that Chase was actually gay. He learned enough from his mom and Camille that plenty of people who look straight are gay and vice versa. But his voice was somewhat a dead giveaway.

Bobby sometimes wondered if life would be easier, in a way, if he was obvious. If he was the type of person whose parents knew without him having to say a word, who had figured himself out eons ago and embraced that part of his identity, who flew his flag in everything he did because he was empowered by it. But he didn't think he was strong enough to deal with everything that entailed. All the slurs, all the judgement, everyone always... looking at him. He just wished the word didn't make his insides do funny things and that he didn't clam up every time he tried to come out to someone, even people he knew would love him regardless.

"Sorry," was all Bobby managed to say. But Chase didn't have time to respond before the school bell rang and the teacher began talking.

* * *

Class came and went. Worst of all, they had to do a pretest _and_ awkward ice breakers. Math and social interaction with a room full of strangers in the same period. That should count under cruel and unusual punishment.

His interaction with Chase hung over him all throughout class. He wanted to be that open about himself, at least in the "able to casually bring it up in conversation" way. Or, maybe, eventually, if he ever had one, in a "hold my boyfriend's hand in public" way.

Bobby had dreams all summer about having a boyfriend. Sometimes he was an unidentifiable blob, gone like a puff of smoke once he woke up. But sometimes the face was distinct. Obvious. Real.

"Hey Bobby. How was math?" Liam asked, sidling up next to him.

"Oh, uh, it was chill. How was science?" he asked. He barely heard the response, distracted by their arms brushing up against each other. Bobby had to look up, just a little bit, to meet Liam's eyes. He had grown a few inches over the summer, his muscles slightly more developed, and his eyes brighter than ever. When the other boy went home for most of summer, Bobby hoped it would be enough to get over his stupid, dumb, persistent crush on his friend. But it wasn't. The moment he saw Liam again, his heart was in his throat and he swore he couldn't breathe. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Liam could do all this to him just by existing.

They both walked into the same classroom, sharing social studies together. They sat next to each other in the back of the room, talking about tennis, summer, life, whatever came up, really. That was the thing. It was easy to talk to Liam. They could fall into a natural rhythm and stay there for hours. But even then, he couldn't tell Liam his biggest secret. Not even the parts that had nothing to do with Liam. He wanted to, he desperately wanted to. Some days he imagined just blurting it out. In the middle of a round of video games, while playing tennis, in another conversation, just blurting out the words "I'm gay" before he could stop himself. But then, they'd have to have a conversation about it. And that conversation would inevitably lead to how he knew, and would lead back around to Liam, and he wasn't sure if he was a good enough liar to only tell him part of the truth.

The bell rang again and Bobby jumped. There were only five minutes between classes, yet the bell still snuck up on him.

Class started, and he forgot to prepare himself.

More awkward ice breakers.

Today was going to be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell Chase is based off Shane from Tiny Pretty Things AKA my biggest television disappointment of 2020, even more than FMIP season three? Sigh...


End file.
